Note to Self

It has been 4 months  I have not written anything in here but wrote many other things in many other places. But there are things that happen once in a while to get you on track. So that happened to me recently. As the title of the post itself suggests Note to Self, this is about a book that I had read and is written by this young author named Connor Franta

Note To Self

 

I was immensely skeptical about buying a book of an author who is almost of my age. I am 24 by the way and I am hoping he is of the same age too. There are books that have hit home in the past and have had a great deal of impact on me, some of them did change my thought  process as well, but let’s  keep them for another day. This is one of those books I’d highly recommend. He is a successful vlogger and an amazing human being. I am following him for a while now and I discovered that he has written a couple of books based on his life. I was wondering what a 24-year-old guy can write about life without even living. That was a massive preassumption to start a book with. But I have seen quite a number of people going through emotional turmoil at a very young age and this author is no different from such people.

The book very well establishes the fact that there are times in life when we feel lifeless, nothing is happening around. No goals, no aspirations, nothing. There are times when we feel like giving up everything and run away. On top of that if you are struggling with your sexuality that will add up to your misery. The author did struggle with his sexuality for a long time before he could accept himself and focus on better things in life. We have tons of things to concentrate on, life offers so many things, so many opportunities but yet we choose to complain about the things that we do not have.  He accepted himself in one of the videos he posted online and came out to his friends and family and other important people in his life. Not only that, but it has been an amazing journey of being vlogger and has done quite well.

The book also contains few poems and few articles that Connor has written while struggling through these issues. These are a set of beautiful poems he has written and also pictures that depict life in altogether different perspective.

The book does not only contain the struggles associated with sexuality but also issues that are faced by teenagers like insecurity, inferiority complex, love, experimenting, imitating etc. These issues are addressed very well and have practical solutions to get over.

One of the best parts of this book is that he spent a lot of time in solitude trying to figure out things on his own. We do need advises from time to time from credible people but knowing the right time and right people to approach for the help take one’s wisdom. The author is a keen observer of the surroundings. He takes amazing pictures and writes something related to the picture. There is a huge difference between being alone and lonely. That probably is one of the best aspects of the book were staying alone or doing things alone can be liberating and helps in discovering a number of things. Loneliness can lead to depression and other mental conditions for which one should not hesitate to ask for help.

This probably is one of the books I will consider re-reading

 

Mind

Mind could be a destructive tool if not used properly. There is no limit to the thinking that we do on a daily basis. Some things are worth the effort and most of them are not. Yet we choose to let our minds take control of the situation. This is because we separate out the entities. The mind takes control of all decisions that we make. Mind lets us think of the things that may or may not happen. So I was looking up, why do we end up making bad decisions? Or choose to underestimate ourselves. We choose to put ourselves down without knowing the problem/situation fully.

Actions are the results of our thoughts. It is very much true. You get what you attract. You choose to think positive and choose to see positivity in every situation and so does your mind. Mind is a real fucker. It can take you up anytime and can put you down anywhere. No matter what’s going on in your life, always choose to think positive and it is often quoted ‘Train your mind to see good in everything’ and that’s how one can take control of the mind.

Things go wrong, of course, they do, But when you are stuck, observe the mind and see where it takes you. If there is negative thought, then the mind does not think twice to add a new one to the list that is making you feel useless. The list keeps going on. At some point we realize that we are relating totally irrelevant things and over thinking. Instead of pondering whether or not you’ll be able to make it out of the situation, think of all the possible ways of making it better. It can take you places if used properly!

Sometimes..!

Sometimes I feel,life is a test that I didn’t study for,

While waiting for the waves hitting the standing me on the shore.

Sometimes I feel, life has lost it’s meaning,

But here I am still looking for the future and  wondering

Sometimes,I wait for the life to win,

Trying desperately to hold up my chin

Sometimes, I work my own way up the ladder,

But I always end up coming in life’s radar.

Sometimes, I want to stop the hustle and disappear,

But life’s charm puts me in the forward gear.

Sometimes, there will be times that’ll put you down, think of it as a plot twist,

But don’t you ever frown ,just keep going without the rest!

When I look at you

When I look at you, I see my own reflection in you. Sometimes I wonder if I am dreaming. It floods my mind with nostalgia, chaos, happiness and several other emotions that I am unable to comprehend. It fills my heart with completeness. 

When I look at you, I worry a little and make more out of that moment. I live in present. You make me live in present. The events of the past and happenings of the future disappear leaving being no pool of guilty feelings. 

When I look at you, and then I look at myself. I am being the best version of myself now. Something I would love to be all the time. It is difficult. But you are there, you see my best version.

When I look at you, my mind goes blue. desperately trying to make the best of itself in front of you. The mind can’t deceive itself. It indeed deceivs me into believing in future ahead.

When I look at you, I appreciate how lucky I am to have met you and be with you.  I am sweapt off my own feet! I wait for it. I am excited and scared at the same at the thought of being with you.

Think it through!

You can not convince everyone. You can not let anyone think like the way you want them to. We all are raised in a certain way. Our behavior is based on certain experiences and the perspectives that we have gained over the years. 

There will be people along your way in life who will try to bring you down. There are people who judge you based on how you look, what you wear, how you walk, how you talk and every fucking thing in your life.

The fact that needs to understood in this context is that it’s your life, and it’s totally your choice how you want to live it. Nobody gets to tell you what you should be doing or not doing. Don’t let anyone take control of the choices you make.

People seldom understand other’s perspectives because they think that it’s not valid or not in sync with trend. There are people who even go out of their own way and advise others on how to live their damn life. You can take the advises and apply to your life as long as you think it is suitable for you to do so.

We all have established the fact that nobody’s perfect. And sure, everybody’s unique in their own way. It’s important to look within ourselves before we advise others. There are times, when we seek advises from other people. It’s recommended. But at the end of the day, you will have to choose what’s best for you in the long run.

Our decisions are the results of the thought process and we have a belief based thinking rather than a reality based thinking. Our thoughts mostly come from our beliefs. And those beliefs are not ours. They are society induced and can be highly destructive if not thought out properly! 

We know what’s best for ourselves.Let’s stick to that. At least we won’t have anyone else to blame for, if things do not go our way. And the you won’t feel the twinge of guilt if you really listen to yourself and act accordingly

Let’s!

Let’s be kind to everyone that we meet on this journey of life.

For everyone that we meet are suffering through problems that we are unaware of.

Let’s observe carefully, for life that is trying to teach us things that we do not know of.

Let’s not worry of tomorrow, for nothing but holds of pack of worries, for which let’s refrain from thinking of.

Let’s make today a worthwhile while we still hope to achieve more tomorrow that we haven’t seen of.

Let’s make promise to get all of us along, to make this journey something to think of!

 

Do you see yourself in any of these pictures? Or at least the place that you live in? Take a close look. No! Don’t we all realize that we are nothing before this prodigious colossal Universe? We are not even a size of an ant when we are compared to this marvelous creation of Almighty.

Most of us spend our lives living in a confined space, the tiniest part of this Universe. Our knowledge, views, understanding, abilities,
experiences, perspectives are limited. Yet, sometimes, we choose to believe that we are suffering from the biggest of the problems.

If I consider my little problem to this Universe, then we all know the answer. It’s nothing. Literally nothing. No one cares of what you are suffering from. Nobody gives a rat’s ass unless it is affecting them directly or indirectly.

And we choose to advise people how to resolve their problems even when they do not ask for it. Advises are a free giveaway. It is easy to give an advice on how things should be as long as you are not a part of the problem. Sometimes we tend to give advises without even being asked or without fully understanding the problem.
And on the other hand, if we are facing it, we tend to make a big deal out of it. Our problems are nothing compared to the potential that’s hidden within. And we are nothing compared to this mighty Universe.
If we have a problem, let’s choose to solve it rather than making a fuss about it. Just when you realize that you are out of a problem, you are landed into another one. This is a part of life. All we need to do is to let it affect us less and move on with it.
The universe is working in its own way. We may not be aware of it. Nature has got it’s own answers whether or not we choose to acknowledge it.

It’s okay :)

It’s okay if you are not where you were supposed to be 🙂

It’s okay if you are struggling and do not know what to do 🙂

It’s okay if you are heart broken and do not know how to go about it 🙂

It’s okay if your worth isn’t yet recognized 🙂

It’s okay if you are worried about tomorrow 🙂

It’s okay if your past is ruining your present 🙂

It’s okay if you are being ignored by someone you really care about 🙂

It’s okay if you are feeling insecure, lost and broken 🙂

It’s okay if your day didn’t go well 🙂

It’s okay if you are not getting a job that you have dremt in years 🙂

It’s okay if you aren’t able to execute your plans 🙂

It’s okay if you think that you are not improving 🙂

It’s okay if you think that you are going no where

It’s okay ! It’s totally ok!  There were things that didn’t go well in past but hey , you are here still living again and dreaming again. The only thing that gets us going through is the HOPE. Some days we feel like we are blessed to have been born and some days we feel crappy about the things that drain our energy. We keep hoping for a better tomorrow. Whether or not we acknowledge it, we hope. Sometimes things do not go as they are planned. All we should consider this as a plot twist and move on. We do not really move on, all that we do is to let it affect less than it used to. And that’s true. Time heals everything. We, each one of us are in our own time zones and we are there accordingly. Let’s not compare our first chapter to someone else’s hundredth chapter. Let’s not underestimate ourselves. Each one of us are unique in our own ways and let’s stop comparing ourselves with others.

Future?

It is common to either dwell in the past or keep dreaming about the future. We  constantly bombard our minds with a lot of obscure questions to which we don’t have answers for and we know it for the most of the times. And that’s how we let our minds to take control of the things that we think,aren’t under our control
For most of the times, the past offers us a good deal of self hatred or self pity or we regret the decisions that we had taken. All that it does is ruin the present. The only thing that is real in this world is the present. Present is not an illusion. Look around, look at the people that you are surrounded with. It’s the real thing. At some point of time, the future that we keep thinking about, becomes present. And again, our mind is somewhere stuck thinking about the things that may or may not happen. 

Future doesn’t happen unless acted upon the present. If we want the future to look “good and bright”, all we should be doing is thinking of the present. The present is such an underrated concept. 

There is a lot that’s happening in the present yet we choose to ignore it. Our minds are susceptible to the thoughts of the future. Let’s cut the rat race of the making invisible future better than ruining the  beautiful present. We all have our own lives and we sure are busy living them but let’s take an opportunity and appreciate what we are blessed with. And that is Present !

Self!

Technology has solved quite a number of economical problems but has given a good number of psychological problems. Everything that we do or choose to do has an outside influence, and so strong that we fail to self validate rather than having to seek it outside of ourselves. Most of these things are highly influenced by the people that we surround with and also the Internet. We fail to look within ourselves as we are constantly worried about our external appearances and how other people would percieve us. And we end up thinking what they think of us just by appearances. That is not totally wrong because the first impression would be the appearance. 

There’s so much more than just to look pretty. The world is damn big. Looking into within gives us an idea of who we are and why we are and what we are trying to become? Because it gives us an insight into what we used to be in past and what actions resulted into becoming who we are today and the next course of actions that are to be taken to reach where we intend to! Self validation is the most important thing as it can answer every question that we think we get answers outside of ourselves. 

The mind always lures us into thinking that the outside world has better answers than we already have within ourselves. We think that the answers to our simplest of the questions that we have are biased! No! Those voices are to be heard if we really want to become the better version of ourselves tomorrow!